I have been truly blessed. I have wonderful friends (you know you who are, or at least I hope I have told you). Those can say they know me and there aren't that many of them, would completely agree and say that I don't always see the silver lining and I am more pessimistic than most. However, in the recent weeks, even I can see all that I have been blessed with and truly be thankful. As I am writing this, I am sitting on a flight back home. In the sense that is home if where the heart is, then mine is split between the place of my birth, my heritage, where I will always belong and the place I grew up and became who I am today. I am journeying back home, yet I am leaving home behind. I have been at plenty of crossroads before and I am at one now. I am excited yet wary. Who I was when I left is no longer who I am now. Those places that I once knew so well are they going to feel foreign? Am I a torist or am I going back home and it would be like riding a bike( which took me three years to learn how to ride by the way)?
Either I want it or not is going to be a time to reflect. I have been feeling a little lost maybe this trip home will help me find my way. I have joked about going and not coming back, but who knows really, a lot can happen in two months. There are plenty of things I am going to miss, here is a list:
Thursdays with Lanira, no one can watch movies like we do, Angsty phone calls from Becks about whatever boy is the flavour of the week., Bella's crazy drama, she truly belongs in France drinking cafe in a Cafe, Crazy weekends with my boys from Wilmington and my GC loves who also provide the best entertainment, random but very welcome calls from great friends just calling to catch up because we haven't spoken to in ages but it feels like we have just seen each other yesterday and the emails exchanged over which wedding photographer to pick, Skype Video chat just because we can, the spur of the moment trip because someone doesn't want to drive alone, attempts to hang out with those two I have known forever( I say attempt because its a blue moon we actually manage it ;) conversations about just how lost and conflicted were are, Starbucks Venti Vanilla Lattes, Bones, House, Glee, Cougar Town, and every other show I watch on T.V and many things I am sure I am forgetting. I am also going to gain a lot, I will spend time with my family face to face and it will be awesome.
I am gonna stop now before I actually cry while I write this.
Either I want it or not is going to be a time to reflect. I have been feeling a little lost maybe this trip home will help me find my way. I have joked about going and not coming back, but who knows really, a lot can happen in two months. There are plenty of things I am going to miss, here is a list:
Thursdays with Lanira, no one can watch movies like we do, Angsty phone calls from Becks about whatever boy is the flavour of the week., Bella's crazy drama, she truly belongs in France drinking cafe in a Cafe, Crazy weekends with my boys from Wilmington and my GC loves who also provide the best entertainment, random but very welcome calls from great friends just calling to catch up because we haven't spoken to in ages but it feels like we have just seen each other yesterday and the emails exchanged over which wedding photographer to pick, Skype Video chat just because we can, the spur of the moment trip because someone doesn't want to drive alone, attempts to hang out with those two I have known forever( I say attempt because its a blue moon we actually manage it ;) conversations about just how lost and conflicted were are, Starbucks Venti Vanilla Lattes, Bones, House, Glee, Cougar Town, and every other show I watch on T.V and many things I am sure I am forgetting. I am also going to gain a lot, I will spend time with my family face to face and it will be awesome.
I am gonna stop now before I actually cry while I write this.
Aaaaaah...AAAAH. I am torn between being very jealous and giving a huge sigh of relief because I am not the one going thru those emotions right now. I have most of the fears you express, the only difference being I not only fear the environment being unfamiliar..I fear my mother wont smell the same anymore, or my fathers laugh wont sound the same. I think I'm moving back to jealousy now, lol. I hope I will be in your shoes soon. Enjoy it. Nomatter how long ago or far we matured from that place...it is the foundation on which all of 'this' rests on!
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