you can't text message break-up:

"Now,not wanting to change it but having to change it? That takes everything you've got."- John Mayer

I have always hated text messaging, as I much prefer the swift phone call, but I went along with the times and joined the texting train. There is so much about texting that has always irritated me, you send a message and then you wait for the response, when you could have just called and said whatever it is that needs to be said. However, in today's world people seem to be losing the spoken word. I get it sometimes you can't talk because you are in a meeting, at work or around other people whatever the case maybe, but I think there should be some times that you can't text. Conversations that are too delicate and too important to have though text messages. Imagine a text message proposal, no one accepts that so why should it be acceptable for people avoid conversations by texting them. There are issues with how someone can receive a message and it reads like its not meant to and you end up with people putting words in your mouth and things get out of hand. That's why Carrie went crazy over being broken up with on a post it note,  I say post it note, text message, Dear John letters, emails or whatever shouldn't be used, its not right, it demeans the relationship, it says you are not even worth a phone call or even an in person conversation. 

So this is a pledge I am making to myself. I will no longer be using text message as means of communication. I will call, maybe leave a message and that's that. One good thing is I can now stop giving AT&T $10 per month for unlimited texting because I won't be needing it. I can actually even use that ten bucks to treat myself to some marathons at the $1.50 movie theatre. When a door closes, a window opens and all that jazz. 

dream big or go home

At the last minute, I have decided that I am going to participate in this year's National Novel Writing Month, in which I have to write 50, 000 words of a novel or have a completed novel by then.  It was an impulse decision, which seems to be how I do this anyways and it feels right that I at least attempt it. I feel like in my Master's degree so far I have written more than than so I should be able to write 50,000 words of whatever I want and hopefully without using the words International Relations  for once.  At this moment I got nothing. No plot, no characters, I don't even have a clue as to what kind of novel I am going to attempt to write. While I know it won't be science fiction, a mystery or suspense, I got noting. When I first decided I joked about my name coming after #1 New York Bestselling author, dream big or go home I say. I am interested in were this ridiculous attempt/adventure will take me, I am prepared to fail completely and utterly but I am hoping that this will become something I can be proud of myself for. It will certainly give me something to do and occupy my time and allow myself to see what I am capable of. This is also crazy because I have my school work to contend with so basically I am insane.

I currently have less than 500 words of what I don't know so luckly its no plot no problem, otherwise I would be in big trouble. There a NaNoWriMo kick off thing happening tonight so I am thinking about heading over there maybe I will be shamed into actually coming up with some that can possibly reach 50000 words by the end of November. I have a feeling that for me November will be learning month,  more so than usual, but as they say , everyday is a school day.

fleeting freedom

It's a bit weird to find myself back here, exactly were I started. I have always had this idea that to achieve freedom I should go far away from home, somewhere nobody knew who I was and what my story was so that I could have a blank slate to be whoever I wanted to be. So being me, I left home and moved to a foreign country to live a life long fantasy that allowed me buckets of freedom. There I was anonymous in the crowd, girl A and I had the freedom to be whoever I wanted to be. Sometimes I would go out with an alias like those secret agents, complete with background story, Diana Prince, Mary Jane Kent , Stella Rollingrock, for me the fun lay in the name as I would smile to myself when I said  because it was obviously a way to geek out on all the comic book, t.v or movie characters. I enjoyed the anonymity that I was afforded and being back here feels like I am caged in with no way out, I feel as though I have taken several steps backwards and I have to start over. I feel like I am losing this race against my own goals and expectations, like I have failed myself.  Things aren't has simple as  as they seemed to just a mere week ago before I came back home.

I feel like nothing has changed at all yet nothing is as it was before...well maybe me talking in vague confusing terms like Dumbledore or Mr Miyagi is the only difference.  I feel like how you feel when you get back into your driver's seat after someone else has driven your car and has changed your seat and I am trying to get it back to a comfortable position, but I don't want to comfortable position to be what it was before. England didn't change my life forever, it enriched it with new experiences, friends and most importantly freedom. It was exactly what the doctor ordered but now I have to figure out the next steps from here, from this place I feel like is caging me in from all angles wanting to keep me trapped and immediate response is wanting to run away as far as I can to get back I what think I lost.

you got the love.

• 
  
  "Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships.There are those that open you up to something new and exotic.Those that are old and familiar.Those that bring up lots of questions.Those that bring you somewhere unexpected.Those that bring you far from where you started. And those that bring you back.

  But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all...is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you, you love, Well, that's just fabulous."

  Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
• I have been thinking about relationships lately and I don't think I can put in better words than those above the many different kinds of relationships there just might be. Moving to a new city where you no virtually no one makes you appreciate the relative comfort of the relationships who already have as well has see just how strong they are. Another interesting thing about moving to a new city is how hard making real connections actually is when there isn't a pretext of going though the same experience like moving away to college to act as a starting point. Its interesting to meet and converse with someone with the full knowledge that the chances of ever seeing that person again are very very slim, but you talk about whatever, laugh together and share a bit of yourselves  regardless of how meaningless the conversation actually is and that is the beauty and the curse of virtual anonymity because sooner or later, you are going to need and want something more concrete.  You're going to miss the easy moments with friends and family that are now not as easy to organize and the I should have are starting to pile up.  I guess I have had relationships on the mind because it seems everyone around me is settling down, moving in together, getting married and having and/ or planning to have babies and I seem to be running away fast in the opposite direction. The thing about other people doing all this sort of makes you think about it yourself.  When I was younger I would have just dismissed the idea of marriage and would have said something along the lines of "its for other people, not me" but I think now its more of a maybe I could be the marrying type, maybe and even if I were to get married it wouldn't be now, definitely later and as for kids, at the moment thats still a solid no. Most days I feel like I can barely take of my needs yet alone the needs of someone more needy than I am.
  
• At the moment, I like where I am...unattached and free to roam the world. fabulous. 

music equals magic

There is something about hearing a song for the first time, the uncertainty and anticipation about whether or not you will connect with that song.Music is a lot of things for a lot of different people. For some is a way to escape, to forget, to remember and to belong.  For me music is all those things as well as about connecting and getting a sense of camaraderie  and a sense of I am not alone after all. Music is magic in its own way, the way it is strongly attached to memories is extraordinary. Like how every time I hear On the Radio by Regina Spektor I am immediately transported to furiously writing a paper at 5am in the morning that was due in two hours , or how It's A Metaphor fool  by Say Anything reminds me of my roommate and our dorm room and all the memories we made there.

When I have a good playlist going, I feel like I am actually never alone, and I feel like my train ride was actually shorter than I thought it would be because the music made the journey. I guess this is like my ode to music, to the songs that mean so much to me, to the catchy ones that terrorize me, to the ones I love to hate.

To Music.

me three.

3 names I go by:
1. Hither
2. Hithy
3. Hith

3 jobs I have had:
1. Desk Receptionist in the college dorms
2. Office Assistant (speaks for itself)
3. Public Relations Director for Student Media (My fanciest job title to date)

3 places I have lived:
1. Harare, Zimbabwe
2. Wilmington, NC
3. Raleigh, NC

3 fave drinks:
1. Coffee
2. Cherry Coke
3. Lady Gray Tea

3 TV shows I watch:
1. Bones
2. CougarTown
3. Glee

3 places I have been:
1. NYC
2. LA
3. Austin, Texas

3 places I would like to visit:
1. Prague
2. Ireland
3. UK

3 fave retro TV shows:
1. Friends
2. Will and Grace
3. Boy meets World

3 fave dishes:
1. eggs any way, except over easy ( you mean over gross me out)
2.beans on toast
3. popcorn- not a dish but my love for popcorn in strong

3 things I am looking forward to:
1. Living in London
2. Finishing my Masters by the end of the year
3. Getting a job


Three makeup Products I Can't Live Without: 
1. Eyeliner
2. Eyeliner
3. Moisturizer 


Three Superpowers I Wish I Had: 
1. Flying
2.Mind reading/ tell the future
3. Healing


Three Songs Currently on Rotation1. When did your heart your heart go missing by Rooney
2. Precious Love by James Morrison 
3. Carry On by Martha Wash

Join the Fun. Everyone

do blah blah blah in london town.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

I think I made the decision that one day I wanted to live in London when I was about thirteen, this might have been under the influence of teen punch drunk crush on one Jude Law and complete awe of the Spice Girls...I know, I know, it was ten years ago, I was young and ridiculous... get over it. It has taken plenty of years of false starts to finally be able to say I am going to London, yes the reasons have shifted and evolved just as I have but at the moment that thirteen year old is screaming her heart out...oh wait I think she just passed out from uttter excitement...no worries, she will be fine :)

I have always had this sense of London was something I had to do for myself. I am fascinated by the history, the culture and the people. I have always wanted to experience it all myself. Mind you, this is not the only place I want to visit, if I could I would want to live everywhere just for a little while. 

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” – Martin Buber

I am excited, terrified, anxious, ecstatic and buried under a mountain of paper work and information I am trying to make sense of. I think it just hit me today that I am really doing this and in came the questions, where will I live?, what's the best place?, the cheapest?, the closest to school?, can I get a job,? do I need a job?, what about my phone?, can I use it there without AT&T? what about my netflix account? Will I meet people? Will my visa get here on time? is the tube easy to learn? and a whole gang of other questions and concerns I haven't even thought about yet. One thing I am not worried about is the English differences. I was raised on the Queens English and hallelujah to that, even now ten years later, I still say till and gawked at like a crazy person, so at least that's one less thing. 

I am just excited about the opportunity and the experiences that are in store for me and how they will change me as a person. 

Been There, Done That.

While it might not look it, based on my lack of new posts. Its been a busy February. I managed to go to the most violent city in the world (Juarez, Mexico) without even a clue that's what I was getting myself into, thank God, I lived to tell the tale. It didn't look dangerous, it had a lot of character and a lot of history as well. It starts like this, I went to L.A to help Rebecca move back east, and that included yet another coast to coast roadtrip, the first one was almost two years ago helping her move to L.A. I hate sitting in a car for a long time, actually I hate actual travel, whether by plane, train, car, boat whatever, I don't like it one bit, but the world traveler in me takes it because the destination is always worth it. So with an obnoxious thousands of miles to drive we hit the road on a Monday. Driving from Los Angeles, California to El Paso, Texas. this is were we decided to go to Mexico , the opportunity was there so we went. It never crossed our minds to check to see exactly were we were going. It was only after we are in Mexico and we see men with guns and such patroling that we thought well, this might be unsafe. So in all my wisdom we got a taxi tour of the city and were out of there in under an hour . So what can be learned from this. Always google your destination.

33. 36.- Let's Start Here

So because of my hiatus, I am a little bit behind, or something like that, but I have managed to get a couple of things checked off.

While in Zimbabwe I got 33. Get second ear piercing. I winced and cried like a little girl...actually the lady said none of the little girls all day had cried and this was all before she even put the piercing gun close to my ear.Once the horrendous experience ( a whole minute of a slight pinch) was over. I felt quite ridiculous for the dramatic and tearful experience I provided the jewelery store employees but its all in a days work.

36. Try 10 new restaurants.

Mom and I went to this place on Monday and I a good time. Its one of those big screens on every wall, playing every imaginable sport known to man. The food was okay, nothing mind blowing as to be expected in a place that specializes in a tower of beer. ha ha.

So it seems I am making slow but steady progress.

Your Past: A Legacy?

Recently, I feel like the past is so very much my present. Whether its that I see a person that at one point was major fixture in my life or song will trigger a memory  and I am struck with a deep feeling of nostalgia so much so, I wish I could return to that moment. It is widely agreed upon that the past helps shape the character and personality of a person, as well as the decisions we make or don't make, the invitations to go out we accepted or declined as small as it might seem, it make up the sum total of experiences that define a part of the present.

Lately, I find myself turning over decisions I made in the past or decisions as current as yesterday and wondering if it was the right choice. I am not into regretting my past, I am all about embracing it, taking whatever lesson to be had and promptly moving on. Earlier today I made a comment about my past not leaving me alone and someone said it was my legacy. Looking back on my life thus far, there is nothing I have done, that I am intensely proud of and there is nothing I have done I regret or am shameful of. I might have regretted somethings in the moment after but in retrospect it is just something that happened. I know that feelings fade with time but there are some things that the feelings are the exact same as they were the moment they happened and no matter how many years I am removed from that moment, I will feel the same amount of  disappointment, joy, glee or whatever feelings. Are these moments the legacy as they never fade?

Catching Up is Hard To Do

I haven't written a blog in a little over two months and that means, I am behind in my 101 in 1001 list among other things. It sucks to be behind but the reason for it was totally well worth it. The time I spent with my family was incredible. Just being back was a truly amazing experience to the point of I did not want to come back. 2009 was a year of plenty of changes and I am sure 2010 will be as well. I spent the last two months of the year in Zimbabwe with my family. It was a time of celebrations and plenty of togetherness. One of my sisters(cousin) got married and I got to reconnect with my family. I had a good time and I have made a decision to go back a lot more often than the previous years. I have a lot to catch up on, and the beginning of 2010 will be dedicated to doing just that, but i also hope it will will be filled with new adventures, opportunities, laughter and all that jazz.